You Shut Your Mouth When You're Talking to Me.

May

08

shoe siesta: Do I Have Birdflu? [video]

All I can say is, I fell asleep on an ELLE magazine which was opened to a page with the Roger Vivier Satin & Feather Pumps (aka BIRD SHOES) on it. What ensued was a beautiful dark twisted nightmare.

The Shoes were everywhere, there were visions of voodoo, snippets of samba, and an extremely shocked Taylor Swift.

I recorded my dream (as I always do), and will let you decide: do I have bird shoe-induced bird flu?

 

Here are some snapshots of the shoes, for those of you who know what’s really important:

The shoes are from Roger Vivier’s Rendez-Vous Collection, and cost more than they are willing to print (price upon request).

The above image is for those of you with night vision.

The above image here is for those of you who are wondering what the shoe looks like on acid.

And finally, a shot for all of my color-blind readers. You mean so much to me! If ANYBODY makes fun of your eyes, you send ‘em to me.

 

Sharing is daring: Give your mother the gift of this post for mother’s day.

 

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Aug

22

Inside, Peanut Butter; Outside, Jesus.

 

 

Oh, the divine miss Di. Apparently, she ate a peanut butter-marmalade sandwich every day for lunch. Followed by a swift swill of scotch.

“Peanut butter is the greatest invention since Christianity.” – Diana Vreeland

We should all be so comforted by comfort food.

 

 

 

Source: Vreeland, Lisa Immordino. “Diana Vreeland’s Secrets.” Harper’s Bazaar Sept. 2012: 428. Print.

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Jul

19

What to do with your genitals.

Woman, you better listen to me when I tell you:
.
.
.
.

 

and here’s some advice for guys:

 

Now that you know how to care for your privates, go back to watching Snooki & J-Woww, ya white trash…

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